A Beginners Introduction to Bondage

A Beginners Introduction to Bondage

The subject of bedroom bondage has become less of a taboo recently, with many people keen to experiment after reading E.L James’s infamous Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. There are many levels of bondage, which may be daunting to couples wishing to enjoy an exciting new thrill in the bedroom rather than a full on BDSM experience.

It is a good idea to start with light bondage to “test the water” which can be as simple as using scarves or ties during sex. The act of restraint can be playful and kinky whilst simultaneously cementing your trust in each other.

Talk things through first

You may be anticipating a dark and kinky evening with your partner, but the thought of whips and handcuffs may be quite scary to them. It is always a good idea to talk about the subject of bondage in a relaxed and comfortable setting before springing it on your partner whilst in bed.

Having this discussion may be scary at first, but you may find that you have similar passions and desires that you can explore together. Perhaps one of you likes the idea of being the submissive super hero. Before starting you bondage experience, always agree on a safe word that when used is clear that you should stop.  Try using a word that you don’t usually associate with the bedroom like “red” as sometimes “stop that hurts” could be misinterpreted in the heat of the moment.

Start off Simple

A good way to introduce some kink to your love making is to use scarves to tie each other up. Choose something silky and soft and take it turns with each other being the dominant and the submissive.

You may like to try using a blind fold as this can intensify the senses during sex but may also help to alleviate anxieties if you are feeling nervous during your first bondage session. You could introduce light spanking to the bottom or try out role play you may have been dreaming about.

You may find you naturally take on certain roles and find the idea of being submissive more exciting than being dominant. As this stage, go with the flow and see where the moment takes you.

Getting the Right Gear for You

This may be a daunting step, but with many sex toy retailers available online, this has never been easier and more discreet to indulge in your bondage fantasies. There is plenty of gear to choose from ranging from the beginners paddle or riding whip to the experts restraining systems. For the beginner, it’s a good idea to start off with some of the less “scary” pieces.

Restraints

The silky scarf may be good for the first time, but you may find that it slips down too easy or you just don’t fancy using one of your scarves to tie your partner up.

Specialist bondage rope is a great addition to the bondage situation as it is built to be tough whilst not being scratch or hard on the skin. You can use this in a variety of different positions, be that on your ankles or your wrists.

You might like to try the classic set of handcuffs: a set of police cuffs may be more authentic during role play but padded cuffs may be more comfortable during use. It’s wise to buy a more expensive set of cuffs, as having a set break on you during sex can be quite a mood killer.

Blindfolds

A good set of blindfolds or masks can work miracles in terms of sensory deprivation. By taking away your partners sight, all other senses will be heightened which can mean greater anticipation from your next move.

 Ideally, you should look at blindfolds that are soft on the eyes and won’t slip down easily which easily block out the light. Of course the sexier the blindfold the better!

Whips and Paddles 

To take your spanking to the next level, and safe and durable tool may be a great addition to your love making.

Paddles are great for spanking and come in many different forms and textures. A dual sided paddle may be good for a beginner, to find out whether you prefer a hard leather spank or the soft and luxurious feel of a satin covered paddle. There are plenty to choose from depending on where your mood takes you.

There are different types of whips to choose from but a flogger is a good place to start. The flogger has many ends or strips of material which can range from the hard leather types to the soft satin or faux fur floggers.

A flogger can be used as a whip with a flick of the wrist and depending the type that you choose could give your partner a quick sting or tingling sensation or a more intense pain depending on what you prefer. They can also be used to tickle, which can be effective used together with the blind fold.

Massage Candles

These are a fairly recent addition to the bondage scene but are a great way of introducing kinkier activities to the bedroom. The specially designed wax melts at a lower temperature which when dripped onto your partner’s skin can create a highly pleasurable experience without the risk and pain of actual candle wax. A sensual massage can also lead to other highly pleasing activities!


Bondage can be an exciting new twist to you and your partner’s love life, but it is a good idea to start off slowly and remember to talk things through beforehand. Communicating your inner most desires with your lover is thrilling and trust building part of any relationship, but expressing your bondage desires van be even more stimulating that you ever hoped.